Farewell, My Dear Friend

Friday, October 31, 1988. As I entered the building at 1650 Los Gamos Drive in San Rafael, California, I knew this would be a very different Halloween. This was my first day of employment at American Express – actually AMEX Life Assurance Company – but I knew it was a day like no other from the moment I stepped in the door.

With very few exceptions, every person in the company was in costume. I was introduced to many people that I would work closely with for the next decade and some that I still connect with from time-to-time over 37 years later. Unfortunately, I had to be re-introduced to every single person on the following Monday, as I did not recognize a soul once they abandoned their Halloween costumes.

One person stands out from those first few days stepping into the world of long-term care insurance. He was a mammoth of a man who could have started at defensive tackle for the San Francisco 49ers. 

But even bigger than his powerful physique was his personality. His laugh would fill the room and his welcoming smile made every one he met instantly feel like a great friend. 

That man was Thomas W. Orr – or Tom as he was known to insurance agents from coast to coast. But even bigger than his personality was his passion. That passion – evangelizing every single day about long-term care and LTC Insurance, became not only his life’s work, but also his life’s purpose. 

In our early days together at AMEX Life, all of us put our heart and soul into bringing the premier provider of LTC Insurance to the nation. But Tom had a very special and important role as he hit the road to “see the people.” 

Tom traveled over 40 weeks per year delivering our “Tools for Thought” training seminars. We had others delivering the same program, but NO ONE inspired more agents to protect their clients from the devastating effects of long-term care than Tom.

One of the many demonstrations of Tom’s impact was on display at our 1991 agent convention in Hawaii. Over 100 agents joined us to celebrate their LTCI sales success and we knew it was important to fire them up and introduce our new product. 

Tom absolutely mesmerized the room with a performance that could have easily been a Tony Robbins event. Agents from around the country spent the rest of the convention trying to get just a moment with Tom to pick his brain and feel his passion for LTC.

Little did we know during our good times in Oahu that Tom’s days at AMEX were numbered. Less than a year after Tom’s show, I was told to pick him up after he returned from another trip across the country and hand him his pink slip. 

Fortunately, the timing was perfect. The state of California was about to launch their Partnership for Long-Term Care program. Who could they find to teach agents about the program? Who else but Tom? 

Senior Insurance Training Services was launched to meet the LTC continuing education and sales training needs of agents across the state. Over 20 years later, Tom is still the ONLY CE provider authorized to teach agents about the Partnership!

Over the years, I often told agents that Tom was a LTC Jukebox. Just drop a quarter in the slot and any tune you wanted to hear about LTC would instantly play. But Tom didn’t only know the words, his passion inspired countless agents to take action nearly every day since the day I met him on Halloween, 1988.

Tom bravely faced a health crisis a few years ago that was debilitating. He fought through the illness with every ounce of strength he had, giving everything he could to helping just one more agent with one more LTC nugget that only he could deliver.

As we enter 2026, his family recently let me know the one thing he would not need in his life was long-term care. His disease had ravaged his body to the point where no further treatment was possible and he was now facing only a few more weeks before he would walk off stage for the last time.

Before I close and turn off the lights at LTCCE, allow me to share the one passion Tom had that was even greater than his love of long-term care. 

Tom deeply loved his wife, Patra, his son, Gavin, and his daughter, Payton. We never had a conversation in 37+ years that he didn’t talk about his family and how much he loved them … every conversation for 37+ years. 

Tom would also ask about my family each and every time we talked too. He would often tell me how he would drop to his knees and pray for my wife, Susie, as he knew she has suffered with many health challenges over the past quarter century. I would tell her each time I talked with Tom and she would smile, simply adding “I miss him!”

My business partner for over 3 decades and my friend for nearly 4 decades has now left us. He often told me he loved me. Sadly, I didn’t say it to him often enough.

Today, let me thank you for our journey together and tell you – I love you too, Thomas W. Orr. 

Tom passed away this evening, February 7, 2026.

Farewell, My Dear Friend.

Bill Merrow